July 30, 2009, another leaf has fallen off our family tree. My mother, Mrs. Olemuel Runnels has gone to be with her family and friends in heaven. I’m sure she is in heaven because I have always prayed for her and asked God to reunite her with her family and friends.
I got several voice mail messages on Thursday, July 30, 2009 telling me of her death and I could not believe what I heard. My moma was not supposed to die. She was my last direct relative and I thought she would live forever. I thought I would always come home and walk in the door and say ‘Hi, moma’ and she would greet me back by saying “Come here and give me a hug’.
In fact, I was planning to come to Houston to visit her this past weekend. I was bringing my friend from Austin, Tx to meet her. I had also planned to have my kids and my granddaughter join us at the hospital and we would have a good time – a good visit which I hoped would cheer her up. But, that visit will never happen despite my good intenions. For you see, God had other plans for her which were far better than mines.
Thursday night and Friday , July 30 - 31, 2009 various relatives told me of her final moments but I could not hear what they were saying. My mind blocked out every word they said. My mind would not allow me to hear about my mother’s death.
Thankfully, she had communicated her final wishes to various family members who planned and carried out her requests. She had often tried to tell me how she wanted her funeral conducted, but I wouldn’t listen to her because I was in denial. I could not listen to or do as she asked because I didn’t believe she would leave us so soon. I always believed there were plenty of years left in her life and we had plenty of time to talk about funerals and other matters.
I went to the funeral home on Friday morning, July 31, 2009 to have a private visit and viewing of her body. Thankfully, someone arranged that for me. I apologized to her for not spending more time with her. Our visits together had grown less frequent since I moved to Austin, Tx over a year ago. I also apologized for the arguments we had and the unresolved issues between us. I should have let her win those arguments or at least made her think I agreed with her position. I asked her to say hello to Big Popa and Big Moma (my grandparents). I asked her say hello to my Daddy, my Brothers and my Sister. I also asked her say hello to my Uncles and Aunts, Cousins, and all of family friends and for all of them to continue watching over us and helping us by guiding our lives.
After leaving the funeral home, I went to Paradise Cemetery and visited my Daddy and Brother who are buried there. I told my Daddy that Moma had ran rings around him in this game of life. He died in 1958 and she lived 51 years beyond him. I didn’t tell him how much I missed him these 51 years because I have told him that so many times over the years. I reminisced with Bobby, my Brother, about our growing up together and all the stuff we got into. I told them that someday, I would join them and our family would be complete again.
I didn’t hear much of the service because my mind stopped working when they brought her casket to the grave site. I could not and would not believe my Moma was in there – Moma’s don’t die!!!! If not for the love and concern from my family, friends, and children, I could not of withstood the funeral and these days that have passed.
I stayed home from work yesterday to collect my thought and to remember my Moma. I tried to go to work today, but I had some unfinished business – I had to write this short story. I had to get my thoughts on paper and maybe tomorrow, I can go to work and get back into the flow of things. Maybe tomorrow this hole in my heart, my soul and spirit will start to close.
Thank You All and God Bless You.
Richard Milton Runnels – 8:10 AM on August 4, 2009.
